1 00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:14,480 When these people came to me and said, "We should like to make a film of your life," 2 00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:18,680 I said, "Yes, do. Films are fantasies. 3 00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:21,600 "Films are magical illusions. 4 00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:27,480 "You can make my life a fantasy, as I have tried, but failed to make it." 5 00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:30,400 But then they said, "We want the film to be real. 6 00:00:30,480 --> 00:00:33,040 "You know, real life." 7 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:39,720 So I said, "Any film, even the worst, is at least better than real life." 8 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:44,880 Then they said, "Though, of course we should have to have an actor to play you." 9 00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:49,200 I said, "I have spent 66 years on this earth, 10 00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:53,440 "painfully attempting to play the part of Quentin Crisp. 11 00:00:53,480 --> 00:00:55,800 "I have not succeeded. 12 00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:59,480 "Yes, of course you must have an actor to play me. 13 00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:02,400 "He will do it far better than I have done." 14 00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:08,040 And then they said, "We shall want to show you when you were young." 15 00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:14,320 And I said, "If I might suggest one image for your film..." 16 00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:53,920 Quentin! Breakfast! 17 00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:04,520 Do you intend to spend your entire life admiring yourself? 18 00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:06,520 If I possibly can. 19 00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:12,080 Are you keen on this girl, then, Quentin? 20 00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:14,520 - Keen? - Yes. 21 00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:17,240 Good God, no! She's a friend. 22 00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:21,360 I mean, friendship exists. I don't think anything else does. 23 00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:25,640 I think all this thing between men and women is something invented by novelists. 24 00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:29,000 - Love? - Because that's what people want to believe. 25 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:32,200 Have you ever felt love? Honestly? 26 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:37,080 - I haven't. - Your son's not one of those, is he, Hilda? 27 00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:42,240 - One of what? - One of those who don't love women. 28 00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:45,120 That's just my point. I don't think anyone does. 29 00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:53,400 - I've been over him. Perfectly normal. - It's just that he's so terribly listless. 30 00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:55,760 What he wants is a good boot up the bottom. 31 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:57,800 - No. - If you ask my advice, 32 00:02:57,880 --> 00:03:01,720 what he needs is a practical lesson in the facts of life. 33 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:06,120 I had already discovered for myself one fact of life, 34 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:09,280 the only fact I've ever fully understood. 35 00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:13,880 I have a message for those who, like me, inhabit a world of make-believe. 36 00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:21,760 - What did you do this morning? - A poster. 37 00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:25,520 - What of? - Coty's Ashes of Roses. 38 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:29,400 I always make my posters madly exotic, even if it's only to annoy Mr. Barker. 39 00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:30,920 Did it? 40 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:35,720 Crisp, why do you suppose you are an art student? 41 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:37,560 And you said? 42 00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:39,360 Because it is the last door 43 00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:43,360 through which my parents think they can push me into the outer world. 44 00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:48,720 The outer world is a club I do not wish to join. 45 00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:52,880 Hello, ducky! 46 00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:00,440 Hello, there. 47 00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:05,320 And then I stumbled on the very truth that was just what the doctor had ordered. 48 00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:14,160 Could I... trouble you for a light? 49 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:22,400 Thank you... so much. 50 00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:43,400 'Dilly's dead tonight, isn't it? Been here an hour now, not a thing. 51 00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:46,640 Except two policemen, disguised as human beings. 52 00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:53,000 Well, you're not going to be much good to me, now, are you? 53 00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:55,200 - No. - Oh, well... 54 00:04:56,640 --> 00:04:58,600 C'est la vie, I suppose. 55 00:04:59,840 --> 00:05:02,320 - Shall we have a cup of coffee? - Yes. 56 00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:08,680 I learned that I was not the only one in the world. 57 00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:28,920 No roughs in tonight, thank heavens. They get on my tits. 58 00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:37,320 - Hello, girls. - Hello. 59 00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:41,680 - May I introduce Quentin? - Quentin? That's something new. 60 00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:45,280 Gloria Swanson, and hasn't she got a nerve? 61 00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:47,680 How do you do? 62 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:50,080 - And Bermondsey Liz. - How do you do? 63 00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:54,560 - How do you do? - Albert, ducky, two of your dreadful coffees. 64 00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:57,080 Two coffees. Right. 65 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:03,400 - Any luck tonight? - Three, so far. 66 00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:07,360 - Must be foggy in Dean Street. - Ooh, you are a bitch. Really! 67 00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:10,280 Trust me, I got a thrasher. My dear! 68 00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:12,280 - Funny how they find you. - Ooh! 69 00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:17,480 - Are you on the game? - I... 70 00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:21,440 - Am I... - If you don't know what it means, 71 00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:22,800 you can't be. 72 00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:25,600 Is he... so? 73 00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:27,840 Oh, he's so, all right. 74 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:34,680 Like to try it? 75 00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:46,400 Thank you. 76 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:51,080 So I learned yet another fact of life. 77 00:06:55,280 --> 00:06:57,920 Quentin! Breakfast! 78 00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:08,360 Morning. 79 00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:16,720 Don't put so much butter on your toast. 80 00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:20,760 So sorry. 81 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:23,240 Well, are you going out to look for a job? 82 00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:25,240 I suppose I might. 83 00:07:31,040 --> 00:07:33,160 Your trouble is you look like a male whore. 84 00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:38,120 It was the first acknowledgement my father had ever made of any part of my problem. 85 00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:41,400 My heart throbbed with gratitude. 86 00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:43,680 - Well, I'm off, then. - Father? 87 00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:46,720 - Mm? - I shall be leaving here soon. 88 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:50,560 And I promise you faithfully that I shall try not to come back. 89 00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:59,920 - Darling, he wants someone more my age. - And what's that? 90 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:03,760 - 18. - Ooh, you're 21 if you're a day. 91 00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:05,880 - You're past it now. - No, honestly. 92 00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:07,920 Ooh, that hurt. 93 00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:10,680 - How do you know? It's only a wig. - It's all my own. 94 00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:14,760 Wait till they touch you with hair like that. You'd get years, dear. You'd get years! 95 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:18,000 I am 18 last March. 96 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:20,680 All right, come on, out, the lot of you. Out. 97 00:08:20,760 --> 00:08:24,160 - Oh, dear, aren't we behaving? - Two hours here and one cup of coffee. 98 00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:26,640 What do you think this is, a four-course banquet? 99 00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:28,720 Now, come on. Either you order again or out. 100 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:33,960 Oh, well, I suppose we'd better go where we're wanted. 101 00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:54,360 The great thing about following an obvious homosexual 102 00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:56,480 is that you can't possibly be wrong. 103 00:08:56,560 --> 00:08:58,680 He will certainly do whatever you want, 104 00:08:58,760 --> 00:09:02,160 and he will certainly not run screaming to the police. 105 00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:05,400 Courtship in such cases consists of the words... 106 00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:07,680 How much? 107 00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:10,960 - Seven and six. - All right. 108 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:13,640 And the only words of tenderness ever uttered to me... 109 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,680 This'll do. 110 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:21,840 - They give me a lot. I give them very little. - Is it very little? 111 00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:25,320 The briefest possible moment. They're much too scared of the police. 112 00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:28,560 And seven and six. Sometimes ten shillings. 113 00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:31,520 Once or twice, an actual pound note. 114 00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:34,240 What do you really give them, these men? 115 00:09:35,560 --> 00:09:39,240 I give them the opportunity to vent their contempt on other people. 116 00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:41,680 - To defile someone else. - Yes. 117 00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:46,320 I suppose it's logical. I abuse them, they defile me. 118 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:49,400 I am an effeminate homosexual. 119 00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:51,480 I want to win the admiration, 120 00:09:51,560 --> 00:09:55,160 I want to be found desirable by a great, dark man. 121 00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:59,080 - Yes. - But what proof have I that I'm desired? 122 00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:02,560 No great, dark man is going to come up to me and say, "Quentin, I adore you. 123 00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:05,240 "Your eyes are like stars and your lips are like roses." 124 00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:09,560 - No. - A ten-shilling note is proof. 125 00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:11,360 A proof I understand. 126 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:19,560 I think that everything that happens to us is our fault. 127 00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:23,640 But that's not our fault. 128 00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:44,080 Just a minute. 129 00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:46,640 Advice to my friends. 130 00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:57,960 - We've been watching you. - Oh, yes? 131 00:10:58,040 --> 00:11:00,720 May we ask what you're doing in this street? 132 00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:06,040 I'm on my way to the Black Cat Cafe to have a light supper with friends. 133 00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:09,920 - Where are you from? - High Wycombe. 134 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:13,280 That's a long way to come to the Black Cat, isn't it? 135 00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:16,760 Oh, Mr. Bremner of the Black Cat serves a very good light supper. 136 00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:19,200 High Wycombe, eh? 137 00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:23,920 I'd be delighted to give you the address. My father's a solicitor. 138 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:29,080 - Does he know you're a pansy? - A dirty, stinking little pansy? 139 00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:31,280 You're a pansy, aren't you? 140 00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:36,080 Pansy? What's that, apart from being a flower? 141 00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:41,720 - Listen, can I give you a word of advice? - Yes, Constable. 142 00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:45,600 The only men who would go with young chaps like you... 143 00:11:45,680 --> 00:11:46,640 Yes, Constable? 144 00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:50,480 .. are men suffering from what is known as venereal disease. 145 00:11:50,560 --> 00:11:54,440 - You know what that is, do you? - I've heard of it, Constable. 146 00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:58,120 Because they would be ashamed to give it to a woman. 147 00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:00,680 They say they're trying to stop it. 148 00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:03,080 They should see what I've seen at reform school. 149 00:12:03,160 --> 00:12:06,080 - I bet you reformed a lot of boys. - I certainly did. 150 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:09,040 Why can't they leave us alone? Do we do any harm? 151 00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:12,200 We provide a very special public service. 152 00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:15,280 I think it's simply because they don't understand. 153 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,920 People hate what they don't understand. 154 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:20,720 - The roughs are coming! - Oh, my gawd! 155 00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:24,520 - Quick! - Come on, out. 156 00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:27,280 - Hello, girls. - You're not leaving, are you? 157 00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:31,160 - We come here special to see you. - Now look, I don't want no trouble. 158 00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:33,000 We ain't making any trouble. 159 00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:35,320 - We come for a cup of tea, didn't we? - Yes. 160 00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:37,280 They're gonna buy us a cup of tea. 161 00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:40,040 You're gonna buy us a cup of tea, in't you? 162 00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:42,080 Oh, go on, darlings. 163 00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:45,960 I thought it was for the gentlemen to buy the drinks. 164 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:50,960 Well, we're not gentlemen, see? We come from Hoxton. 165 00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:54,200 I thought even in Hoxton they knew how to treat a lady. 166 00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:57,120 You're pretty, in't you? 167 00:12:57,160 --> 00:12:59,040 Yes, I am. 168 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,560 - Give us your hand, then. - What for? 169 00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:04,560 I want to hold your hand. 170 00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:07,800 Oh, what a little one, eh? 171 00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:11,640 - Lovely little hand! - Yes. 172 00:13:11,680 --> 00:13:13,120 I'd like to squeeze it. 173 00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:16,280 Do you like that? You like it, don't you? 174 00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:19,120 Do you love me? 175 00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:22,520 I said, don't you love me? 176 00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:25,840 - Are you gonna buy me a cup of tea? - I... 177 00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:29,200 'Ere, he's gonna buy me a cup of tea. 178 00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:35,400 All right, then, whisper in me ear. Tell me you love me. 179 00:13:36,680 --> 00:13:42,240 Why don't you sod off back to Hoxton before they find out you're queer? 180 00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:43,840 You...! 181 00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:57,840 Well, I seemed to have hit on a home truth. 182 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,280 And of course... 183 00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:10,040 On a relatively quiet night in the Black Cat, 184 00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:12,920 I met Thumbnails. 185 00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:16,400 As a result, at the age of 22, in 1930, 186 00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:18,840 I kept my promise to my father. 187 00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:21,400 I left home. Forever. 188 00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:24,320 What did you say his name was? 189 00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:26,400 Thumbnails. 190 00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:32,880 I just call him Thumbnails. They are appalling. 191 00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:35,400 - Dirty? - No. 192 00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:38,760 The wrong shape. 193 00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:41,280 Why? I mean, why him? 194 00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:43,320 - He has a flat. - No other reason? 195 00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:46,080 No. We're not lovers. 196 00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:50,720 - I doubt if we're even friends. - He's not the great, dark man? 197 00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:54,280 He is most absolutely, definitely, 198 00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:57,320 positively not the great, dark man. 199 00:14:57,360 --> 00:15:00,920 Well, you might at least do some tidying up during the day. 200 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:02,960 You're here all day. 201 00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:06,800 I said, you might at least do some tidying up. 202 00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:12,880 What did you get for supper? 203 00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:16,000 Quentin? What did you buy for supper? 204 00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:20,080 I couldn't see anything in the kitchen. 205 00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:21,400 Quentin, what...? 206 00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:27,160 You'd look a lot better if you didn't put all that stuff on your face. 207 00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:31,160 You don't need to, it can't be good for your skin. 208 00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:36,920 Now, look at actresses. They get terrible rough skins with all the stuff they have to put on. 209 00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:40,800 You ought to get out during the day and get some exercise. 210 00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:44,280 You'll be flabby by the time you're 30, you know that. 211 00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:48,560 You'll look terrible when you're old, the life you lead. 212 00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:50,760 Really terrible. 213 00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:57,080 Now, what are you going to do today while I'm out at work? 214 00:15:58,320 --> 00:16:02,480 I shall experiment with a new eye shadow. 215 00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:07,640 You don't have to look like a woman. Now, why do you try? 216 00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:19,480 - I'm rather glad... - Please. 217 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:24,960 I'm rather glad you couldn't get a taxi. I've never been in a bus before. 218 00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:26,520 Isn't it fun? 219 00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:29,240 - Fares, please. - Two to Piccadilly Circus. 220 00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:35,640 Does one tip the conductor? 221 00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:37,680 Nothing happened. 222 00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:40,640 I'm not a woman. I don't want to be a woman. 223 00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:44,560 I happen to be a fully formed male person who happens to be attracted to other men. 224 00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:46,920 - That's all. - Do you wish you weren't? 225 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:50,000 I regard all heterosexuals, however low, 226 00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:53,200 as infinitely superior to any homosexual, however noble. 227 00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:55,800 - You don't mean that. - Well, as infinitely luckier. 228 00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:59,200 It's always better to be a member of the majority. 229 00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:02,240 - Can we go to the zoo? - Yes. 230 00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:06,760 Do you think a homosexual elephant has a terrible time of it? 231 00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:09,640 I know what happens to animals who have a leg like mine. 232 00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:12,880 Your problem can be seen with the naked eye. Mine cannot. 233 00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:18,240 The world is full of aborigines who don't even realise that homosexuality exists. 234 00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:21,360 I shall go about the routine of daily living 235 00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:25,680 making this particular fact abundantly clear to them. 236 00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:28,520 237 00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:47,080 Ooh! 238 00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:06,080 Come in. 239 00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:18,560 I have an appointment with Mr. Dunsmore. 240 00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:23,320 My name is Crisp. Quentin Crisp. 241 00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:32,760 Erm... 242 00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:37,600 I erm... I take it that you have had some erm... experience? 243 00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:43,360 I attended Battersea Art School, though without actually learning anything. 244 00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:46,840 And I worked for some time in a drawing office as a tracer. 245 00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:50,000 Yes, well, erm... 246 00:18:51,120 --> 00:18:53,280 I gather that your mother... 247 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:58,760 is the friend of the wife of one of our directors. 248 00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:00,800 Yes, that's right. 249 00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:07,800 May I... May I ask how you got the job as a tracer? 250 00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:11,440 - Well, my mother was... - Ah, yes. Yes. 251 00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:14,680 Well... 252 00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:17,440 I became a commercial artist. 253 00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:22,480 This enabled me to leave Thumbnails and take a room of my own. 254 00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:25,560 My existence blossomed. 255 00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:29,360 My darling, a lioness would be proud of those nails! 256 00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:31,400 A little drink. 257 00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:34,120 Hello, my darling. 258 00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:38,520 Liberated in my new flat, I could invite my friends. 259 00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:40,840 The nice art student, of course, 260 00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:43,720 and a Polish gentleman with an unpronounceable name. 261 00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:46,440 And his wife, who'd once sat for Epstein. 262 00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:48,160 Or was it Augustus John? 263 00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:54,480 I should explain that Poland is not so much a country as a disturbed state of mind. 264 00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:56,160 Ah, Quentin! 265 00:19:56,240 --> 00:20:00,320 What do you think this extraordinary wife of mine says to me yesterday? 266 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:03,120 - He pawned my gramophone. - Oh, I pawned her gramophone. 267 00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:05,520 - Without telling me. - Oh, but she is mad. 268 00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:07,640 If I had told her, she would have prevented me. 269 00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:11,080 - Of course I would! - I pawned the gramophone to buy meat. 270 00:20:11,120 --> 00:20:13,480 To bring to my friend, Quentin. 271 00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:16,080 I shall now go into my friend Quentin's kitchen 272 00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:19,160 and make a famous Polish national dish! 273 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:22,920 Does he know anything about cooking? 274 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:25,640 - Not a thing. - I'll give him a hand. 275 00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:31,440 - Can I help you? - But you are not Polish. 276 00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:35,720 I think you and he invented the vie de boheme. 277 00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:41,400 - You are happy tonight. - This week, I earned two pounds ten shillings. 278 00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:46,520 And I have, for some time now, completely and absolutely given up sex. 279 00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:49,840 You've no idea of the energy you feel. 280 00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:52,040 I don't want... energy. 281 00:20:52,120 --> 00:20:54,840 Sex is the last refuge of the miserable. 282 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,800 Oh, balls, Quentin! 283 00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:59,360 Well, you live in the secure world of normality. 284 00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:02,360 I live hanging on a rotten rope over an abyss. 285 00:21:03,120 --> 00:21:07,480 On an actuarial basis, the expectation of happiness in an effeminate queer... 286 00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:10,360 Darling, see if he's got my cigarettes, would you? 287 00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:13,880 Of course. 288 00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:24,160 Until now, I had regarded other people only as reflections of my own existence, 289 00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:26,440 as an audience for my own problem. 290 00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:30,200 Now I saw two of them in violent relation to each other. 291 00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:34,240 For the first time, I was forced to admit that other people existed. 292 00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:38,080 - Yeah, I have. - You have? 293 00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:41,480 Oh, thank you, darling. How's the Polish national dish? 294 00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:45,120 Oh... Coming along nicely. 295 00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:52,480 The trouble with living in Clerkenwell was getting back to my room at night. 296 00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:57,600 When you're being followed, there are a number of rules to obey. 297 00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:21,080 Oi! 298 00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:26,480 Who the hell do you think you are? 299 00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:33,080 No one, really... sir. 300 00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:38,440 May I...? 301 00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:44,160 .. then you're unlucky. 302 00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:52,000 However, you can be even unluckier. 303 00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:54,920 - Here, have a look at him! - Oi, oi! 304 00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:59,240 That's something else! 305 00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:01,440 Oi, come here. Let's have a look at you. 306 00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:03,840 Lovely, eh! 307 00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:06,120 - Come on. - Here, you. 308 00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:10,720 - Evening, gentlemen. - Look at the barnet! 309 00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:13,240 - Yeah, it's dyed. - It is dyed, innit? 310 00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:16,960 - He's got make-up on. - Here, what you got make-up on for, eh? 311 00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:19,680 - Look at his nails. He's a woman. - No, he ain't. 312 00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:22,720 - He's a geezer. - Have a feel! 313 00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:25,440 I felt it! I found it! 314 00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:34,280 Gentlemen, if I may speak for a moment, allow me to reassure you that... 315 00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:39,120 Taxi! 316 00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:41,160 17 Morton Street, please. 317 00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:46,800 17 Morton Street, please. 318 00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:53,000 Could you please take me to 17 Morton Street? 319 00:23:56,240 --> 00:24:01,640 I'd be very grateful if you could take me to my home, which is 17 Morton Street. 320 00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:15,640 Out. 321 00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:18,720 Out! 322 00:24:21,120 --> 00:24:23,080 Out. 323 00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:26,040 'Ere. Come here, you. We want you. 324 00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:31,240 - Come on! - Get him lads! 325 00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:56,400 I seem to have annoyed you gentlemen in some way. 326 00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:34,840 Come in. 327 00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:41,000 - You wanted to see me, sir? - Yes, I think I made the right choice. 328 00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:48,040 Sha... Shall we erm... Shall we make it this one? 329 00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:51,480 Yes, erm... This one, I think. 330 00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:55,600 - Don't you? - Yes. 331 00:25:55,640 --> 00:25:58,280 Well, there's something to be said for the English. 332 00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:02,040 What other nation would look at my face and not utter a single word? 333 00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:05,640 The English, huh! They are all concealed homosexuals. 334 00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:09,320 - Well, you're certainly not English. - Thank God! 335 00:26:09,360 --> 00:26:11,920 Why don't you go and live in Paris where nobody cares? 336 00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:14,440 There you can dress as you like, do your face as you like. 337 00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:18,680 - I don't believe in abroad. They're such cheats. - How, cheats? 338 00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:22,920 I believe they speak English behind our backs when we're not listening. 339 00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:24,920 I don't believe in abroad, either. 340 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:28,720 The English will never cease to believe that sex is disgusting. 341 00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:30,240 Unlike the Poles, who... 342 00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:33,600 And that your kind of sex is the most disgusting of all. 343 00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:38,840 But it's my crusade. It's the reason for my existence, to make them understand. 344 00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:42,480 You are exhibitionist, my friend. 345 00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:45,240 An exhibitionist has no friends. 346 00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:47,040 No friends at all. 347 00:26:47,120 --> 00:26:50,080 Certainly no friends among my own kind. 348 00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:54,240 349 00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:58,560 350 00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:02,960 351 00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:05,520 352 00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:08,520 - God, it's Quentin. - You don't want to be seen with her, dear. 353 00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:10,200 She's a dead giveaway. 354 00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:12,400 355 00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:16,560 356 00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:18,600 A small Guinness, please. 357 00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:24,640 358 00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:29,440 359 00:27:31,360 --> 00:27:33,600 - Quentin. - Hello. 360 00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:36,680 May I ask, did anyone see you coming in here? 361 00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:38,840 Not so far as I'm aware. 362 00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:41,920 Would you make sure that no one sees you leaving? 363 00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:43,960 If you wish. 364 00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:50,720 You mean you'd like me to go? 365 00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:54,000 Look, ducky, you're spoiling it for the others. 366 00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:59,520 You mean like a consumptive with a cough spoils the fun of tuberculosis? 367 00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:03,200 Quentin, ducky, if the police come in, we're all normal. 368 00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:06,920 With you here, everyone in court and me, six months in jail. 369 00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:09,520 And you don't want to be a martyr to the cause. 370 00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:14,320 Quentin, may I see your membership card, please? 371 00:28:14,360 --> 00:28:16,840 I think I have it. 372 00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:26,560 What cause? 373 00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:28,600 We're normal. 374 00:28:28,640 --> 00:28:31,600 I had a number of normal friends. 375 00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:34,200 But what is normal? 376 00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:36,760 Cocoa. 377 00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:41,640 Quentin... I love you. 378 00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:44,880 - Oh, my darling, you do realize... - I don't care. 379 00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:47,440 Yes, well, I... 380 00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:55,640 All I can possibly offer any woman is a beautiful friendship. 381 00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:58,440 That's what I want. 382 00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:01,000 Well, that's all right, then. 383 00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:03,640 I don't care about sex. 384 00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:05,840 It doesn't matter, does it? 385 00:29:05,920 --> 00:29:09,640 It doesn't matter to those to whom it doesn't matter. 386 00:29:10,480 --> 00:29:13,960 I just want to be near you. All the time. 387 00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:18,000 - In a world of non-sexual bliss. - Yes. 388 00:29:18,040 --> 00:29:20,240 And we'll hold hands and read poetry, 389 00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:23,160 and you-know-what will never rear its ugly head. 390 00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:27,360 - Mmm. - That is your dream. 391 00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:29,400 Shall I tell you mine? 392 00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:35,640 I dream of a great, dark man, a real man, 393 00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:39,720 enormously strong, enormously virile, whose love I shall win. 394 00:29:41,040 --> 00:29:43,920 I know that my dream is doomed to disappointment. 395 00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:46,880 If I succeed, I fail. 396 00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:51,080 If I win the love of a man, he cannot be a real man, 397 00:29:51,160 --> 00:29:54,280 and the more feminine I make myself to attract a real man, 398 00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:57,520 the less will a real man be attracted by me. 399 00:29:58,680 --> 00:30:01,120 A dream is only a dream. 400 00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:04,800 There is no great, dark man. 401 00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:07,440 I don't care. 402 00:30:07,520 --> 00:30:11,000 - I love you, Quentin. - And your dream is as hopeless as mine. 403 00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:16,440 If you go on like this, you'll finish up with yoga, vegetarianism or religion, or God knows what. 404 00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:21,320 Yes, well, I erm... 405 00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:23,960 I'm afraid... 406 00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:29,040 Skipping lightly over the fact that I'd lost my job, 407 00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:33,440 not because I was queer, simply because it was those bleak 1930s, 408 00:30:33,520 --> 00:30:38,960 we arrive at the time when I lodged with, of all things, a teacher of ballet. 409 00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:43,160 Make your movements bold. Make your chest alive. 410 00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:47,480 Let your arms flow, boldly, boldly. 411 00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:51,920 I myself contributed to the school by teaching tap-dancing. 412 00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:57,800 This I managed by taking lessons myself and keeping one jump ahead. 413 00:30:58,800 --> 00:31:01,280 No, no. More like this. 414 00:31:04,440 --> 00:31:05,400 There! 415 00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:08,720 It was at this time, I'm sorry to say, 416 00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:11,800 that sex re-entered my life. 417 00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:13,840 Cold, tonight. 418 00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:16,640 Yes. 419 00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:20,040 I see the forecast's good, though. 420 00:31:20,120 --> 00:31:22,280 Oh, is it? 421 00:31:24,640 --> 00:31:26,600 Well... 422 00:31:31,200 --> 00:31:33,160 Well? 423 00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:36,760 I must be getting home. 424 00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:41,800 I do understand. 425 00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:10,920 Would you like a cup of tea? 426 00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:17,080 It's very nice of you, but my mother will be expecting me. 427 00:32:17,840 --> 00:32:20,320 Oh, yes. Well... 428 00:32:33,920 --> 00:32:35,760 Shall we meet again? 429 00:32:35,840 --> 00:32:38,040 Oh God, what for? 430 00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:39,880 If you like. 431 00:32:39,960 --> 00:32:45,120 Thereby condemning myself to three or four years of dismalness. 432 00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:48,680 There! 433 00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:50,160 Mm-hm? 434 00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:53,080 - Quentin, two people to see you. - Oh, yes? 435 00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:55,600 I'm afraid they're the police. 436 00:32:56,840 --> 00:32:58,480 Thank you, madam. 437 00:32:58,520 --> 00:33:00,760 Mr Crisp? 438 00:33:00,840 --> 00:33:02,480 Yes? 439 00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:05,560 We've called, sir, in consequence of complaints. 440 00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:08,560 - Oh, yes? - From your neighbors. 441 00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:11,640 Who say they can see in through your window. 442 00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:14,960 I expect they can. It's a big window. 443 00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:17,040 At night. 444 00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:19,800 Apparently, you don't always close your curtains. 445 00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:23,760 - I very rarely close my curtains. - Why is that, sir? 446 00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:27,640 Well, it never occurs to me that the neighbors would want to look in. 447 00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:32,720 - Well, I gather, sir, they can see your bed. - Quite easily. 448 00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:36,680 Well, I mean, they wouldn't need a telescope. 449 00:33:36,720 --> 00:33:38,880 And sometimes, people on your bed. 450 00:33:38,920 --> 00:33:41,000 Oh, yes? 451 00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:45,640 Are you aware of the laws in this country relating to what goes on in private? 452 00:33:45,680 --> 00:33:50,720 - To which particular law do you refer? - You know as well as I do. 453 00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:55,000 The neighbors aren't willing to give evidence or he'd have arrested me already. 454 00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:59,440 Things go on in this house for which the penalty is seven years' imprisonment. 455 00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:04,640 In that case, whatever they are, I must make quite sure that they never happen again. 456 00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:07,400 You'd bloody better! 457 00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:10,040 Oh, my God! Draw the curtains. 458 00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:13,800 What do you think they saw? 459 00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:15,600 Possibly, you kissing me. 460 00:34:15,640 --> 00:34:21,080 - Oh, no! - Now they can't see a thing. Neither can I. 461 00:34:21,160 --> 00:34:24,720 - No chinks? - Not even a Japanese gentleman. 462 00:34:26,720 --> 00:34:31,000 I hope you look pained. That was one of my most terrible jokes. 463 00:34:32,720 --> 00:34:37,280 - You see, I'm a civil servant. - I had imagined you were. 464 00:34:37,360 --> 00:34:41,360 - In the Ministry of... - No, please don't tell me. I have no curiosity. 465 00:34:41,440 --> 00:34:43,400 But you see, my job does depend on... 466 00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:47,320 Of course. And the King wouldn't like it. 467 00:34:47,360 --> 00:34:49,720 Not to speak of the little princesses. 468 00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:03,360 If you decide not to come and see me anymore, 469 00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:05,840 I shall quite understand. 470 00:35:05,920 --> 00:35:08,800 Life was not all dreariness. 471 00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:12,640 Vintage champagne! It is a party. 472 00:35:13,640 --> 00:35:15,800 To celebrate our divorce. 473 00:35:15,840 --> 00:35:17,800 Lovely! 474 00:35:17,880 --> 00:35:22,440 We come straight from the court, where your wonderful British justice was done. 475 00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:26,160 Congratulations. Congratulations, darling. 476 00:35:26,240 --> 00:35:28,520 - Thank you, darling. - I'm an adulterer. 477 00:35:28,600 --> 00:35:32,200 So my wife is taken from me! Marvelous! 478 00:35:32,240 --> 00:35:34,440 Do I congratulate everyone? 479 00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:36,480 Oh, I think so, don't you? 480 00:35:36,520 --> 00:35:39,360 - Congratulations, dear. - Thank you. 481 00:35:39,440 --> 00:35:42,040 Everyone must drink to divorce, 482 00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:45,080 the noblest of institutions! 483 00:35:45,120 --> 00:35:46,560 To divorce! 484 00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:50,640 And then, we go in the school room with the music, and we dance. 485 00:35:50,720 --> 00:35:53,920 - A ballet. - Aha! A beautiful ballet. 486 00:35:53,960 --> 00:35:58,200 487 00:35:58,280 --> 00:36:01,200 - Darling, I want you to meet... - How do you do? 488 00:36:01,240 --> 00:36:04,600 - How do you do? - One of my dearest, absolute dearest... 489 00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:07,840 - Delighted to meet you. - We're going to be married. 490 00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:11,600 - Well, once again! More... - More champagne. 491 00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:14,760 He's terribly sweet, and terribly rich. 492 00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:18,640 I'm so glad. You can buy yourself a new gramophone. 493 00:36:19,880 --> 00:36:23,000 Quentin! You must not embrace her. 494 00:36:23,040 --> 00:36:25,520 She is my ex-wife, not yours. 495 00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:30,160 Darling, come and dance, for the lovely, lovely last time. 496 00:36:30,240 --> 00:36:32,480 An English dance, not Polish. 497 00:36:32,520 --> 00:36:34,480 I've finished with Poles. 498 00:36:42,320 --> 00:36:44,440 Will you marry? 499 00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:46,400 Just go on living with him. 500 00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:50,520 Quite right. Marriage is for those who've given up the struggle. 501 00:36:51,320 --> 00:36:54,160 - Quick, what's his name? - Lord Alcohol. 502 00:36:54,200 --> 00:36:56,160 - What? - More champagne? 503 00:36:56,240 --> 00:36:58,520 - Marvelous! - Good party, eh? 504 00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:01,680 - I hope the neighbors can see. - Oh, why? 505 00:37:01,760 --> 00:37:05,680 A divorce celebration. What could be more normal than that? 506 00:37:06,520 --> 00:37:08,320 - Cheers! - Cheers! 507 00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:20,320 For all I knew, we might be in for a very thin time. 508 00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:23,920 - Quentin, dear. - Hello. 509 00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:28,040 Did you hear that funny wailing sound this morning? What on earth was it? 510 00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:30,640 Quentin, I think I'll be leaving here. 511 00:37:30,680 --> 00:37:33,160 In fact, I shall. I am going to leave. 512 00:37:33,240 --> 00:37:35,520 Yes, of course. 513 00:37:35,600 --> 00:37:38,320 The men must learn a different dance. 514 00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:40,320 But what about you? 515 00:37:40,360 --> 00:37:43,640 I shall find a new landlady, not half as angelic as you. 516 00:37:45,880 --> 00:37:48,360 Would you like... 517 00:37:52,720 --> 00:37:56,160 - But would it help... - Darling, your mime is marvelous. 518 00:37:56,200 --> 00:37:58,840 I know exactly what you mean, but do you really mean...? 519 00:37:58,920 --> 00:38:01,600 Well, I got them for you, and I can't take them with me. 520 00:38:01,640 --> 00:38:04,680 And it is terribly expensive, putting things in store. 521 00:38:04,760 --> 00:38:09,080 - Angel! - You could be an unfurnished tenant. 522 00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:11,200 Bliss! 523 00:38:11,240 --> 00:38:14,240 Complete and utter blissI 524 00:38:14,280 --> 00:38:20,400 In the lower depths of Chelsea, I became unfurnished and immoveable, 525 00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:23,000 and aloneI 526 00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:25,040 Crisp! 527 00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:31,720 - Yes, sir. - Get in there. 528 00:38:31,800 --> 00:38:33,760 Come on, move! 529 00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:35,280 Crisp, sir. 530 00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:37,320 Sit down. 531 00:38:40,960 --> 00:38:42,920 Your hair's dyed. 532 00:38:42,960 --> 00:38:45,000 Yes, sir. 533 00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:48,280 A man dying his hair is a sign of sexual perversion. 534 00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:52,280 - Do you know what that means? - Yes, sir. 535 00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:56,600 Do you know what the word "homosexual" means? 536 00:38:56,640 --> 00:38:58,760 Yes, I am homosexual. 537 00:39:00,520 --> 00:39:01,840 Wait here. 538 00:39:18,920 --> 00:39:21,920 - How old are you? - 31. 539 00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:24,240 It says here, 25. 540 00:39:24,280 --> 00:39:27,640 I said 25 because I thought that would get me into the Army sooner. 541 00:39:27,680 --> 00:39:30,240 Why did you want to get in the Army? 542 00:39:30,280 --> 00:39:32,280 In order to avoid starvation. 543 00:39:33,240 --> 00:39:35,200 Right, take those off. 544 00:39:35,280 --> 00:39:37,560 Let's have a look at you. 545 00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:44,520 Bend over. 546 00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:51,680 I think I ought to explain that I've very rarely gone in for sodomy. 547 00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:53,960 Not for some years now. 548 00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:57,360 I mean, if that's what you're looking for. 549 00:39:57,400 --> 00:39:59,760 Stand up. 550 00:39:59,840 --> 00:40:02,360 Put those things on again. 551 00:40:05,040 --> 00:40:07,280 What use do you think you'd be to the Army? 552 00:40:07,360 --> 00:40:09,640 Anyone can get killed. 553 00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:13,200 Wait here. 554 00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:27,960 Sit down. 555 00:40:34,480 --> 00:40:38,440 - I am a psychiatrist. - Oh, yes... sir? 556 00:40:41,720 --> 00:40:43,840 You say you are homosexual. 557 00:40:46,160 --> 00:40:48,920 I am homosexual, irretrievably. 558 00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:51,160 But you want to join the Army? 559 00:40:51,200 --> 00:40:55,040 - Yes. - Why did you come here, looking as you do? 560 00:40:56,840 --> 00:40:58,800 Well... 561 00:41:00,200 --> 00:41:03,400 I didn't put on any of my usual make-up. 562 00:41:03,440 --> 00:41:06,200 I thought, "I mustn't blind them with it." 563 00:41:06,240 --> 00:41:12,440 But there's my hair and my fingernails. I won't do anything about those. 564 00:41:12,480 --> 00:41:17,240 I mustn't make it seem I'm trying to disguise the fact that I'm homosexual. It wouldn't be fair. 565 00:41:17,320 --> 00:41:20,680 And in any case, I couldn't possibly get rid of the dye. 566 00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:23,920 You have to grow it out, and that can take quite a long time. 567 00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:26,640 I could have cut it. 568 00:41:26,720 --> 00:41:30,000 But I thought, "When I join the Army, they'll cut it for me." 569 00:41:30,080 --> 00:41:34,160 And apart from saving me the expense, then it would provide me with a permanent excuse. 570 00:41:34,240 --> 00:41:37,880 "My hair is short because they've cut it. 571 00:41:37,960 --> 00:41:42,000 "The way you see me now is because they've done it to me." 572 00:41:42,080 --> 00:41:45,360 The burden of responsibility will pass from my shoulders. 573 00:41:48,600 --> 00:41:50,200 Does that answer your question? 574 00:41:51,720 --> 00:41:57,200 In all seriousness, have you a fantasy vision of yourself as a fighting man? 575 00:41:57,280 --> 00:41:59,960 In all seriousness, the only soldiers I know 576 00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:03,600 spend their time loading petrol cans onto lorries in Banbury. 577 00:42:03,640 --> 00:42:06,120 I'm sure even I can do that. 578 00:42:09,920 --> 00:42:15,200 I must admit that I'm more likely to be killed by the English than by the Germans, 579 00:42:15,240 --> 00:42:18,880 but I've taken that risk for years now. 580 00:42:20,040 --> 00:42:22,840 - Do you read your Bible? - Not constantly. 581 00:42:23,880 --> 00:42:26,480 "Male and female created He them." 582 00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:33,240 Male and female created He me. 583 00:42:36,280 --> 00:42:40,960 Armed with a certificate saying, "Exempt, suffering from sexual perversion," 584 00:42:41,040 --> 00:42:42,960 I had a happy War. 585 00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:46,960 In the blackout, the whole of London was my playground. 586 00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:49,200 And when the Americans came, 587 00:42:49,240 --> 00:42:52,160 I discovered, like many a good girl, 588 00:42:52,200 --> 00:42:54,200 that sex could be fun. 589 00:42:54,240 --> 00:42:56,240 Hey, ma'am. 590 00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:05,080 Can I walk you home? 591 00:43:05,160 --> 00:43:07,840 You think I'm a woman, don't you? 592 00:43:09,040 --> 00:43:11,880 Well, you sure wiggle your fanny like a woman. 593 00:43:12,800 --> 00:43:15,080 Frankly, I'm not a woman. 594 00:43:16,280 --> 00:43:18,920 Frankly, do I care? 595 00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:24,520 Never in the history of sex was so much offered to so many by so few. 596 00:43:24,560 --> 00:43:28,640 - Hiya, Red. - Hi. 597 00:43:28,720 --> 00:43:31,320 - Well, you sure are pretty. - Am I? 598 00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:33,360 Yeah. You wanna go someplace? 599 00:43:33,440 --> 00:43:36,320 - What place? - Your place. 600 00:43:37,120 --> 00:43:42,040 Here, what say we have another piece of gum and then do it again? 601 00:43:43,880 --> 00:43:45,840 All right. 602 00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:52,680 This is more fun than watching a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. 603 00:43:54,080 --> 00:43:55,560 Yeah. 604 00:43:56,440 --> 00:43:57,800 Quentin, are you in? 605 00:43:57,840 --> 00:44:00,880 - Hello. - Darling, you've got to do it for me. 606 00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:03,920 - Oh, yes? - Tonight. I simply can't, I shall be in Brighton. 607 00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:07,040 I've telephoned everyone. They're all booked, so it must be you. 608 00:44:07,120 --> 00:44:09,600 - Me? - You've always said how nice it must be. 609 00:44:09,680 --> 00:44:13,080 - Jeez! Do you know what time it is? - No, I'm afraid I don't. 610 00:44:13,160 --> 00:44:14,720 They really want me? 611 00:44:14,800 --> 00:44:18,360 You are practically the only person left in London with two arms and two legs. 612 00:44:18,440 --> 00:44:20,440 Pardon me, ma'am. I'll get my clothes here. 613 00:44:20,520 --> 00:44:22,520 But what do I wear? 614 00:44:22,600 --> 00:44:25,320 Oh, roughly as you are. 615 00:44:26,640 --> 00:44:29,080 Oh. 616 00:44:34,600 --> 00:44:37,560 I suppose you couldn't stand with your arms stretched out? 617 00:44:37,600 --> 00:44:39,560 Yes. 618 00:44:41,960 --> 00:44:44,040 In a sort of crucifixion pose? 619 00:44:45,400 --> 00:44:47,400 Christ! 620 00:44:55,400 --> 00:45:01,080 Being a model requires no education, no references and no previous experience. 621 00:45:01,160 --> 00:45:05,840 You have only to say, "I do" and you're stuck with it for life. 622 00:45:05,880 --> 00:45:07,440 Like marriage. 623 00:45:27,600 --> 00:45:29,680 Quentin, 624 00:45:29,720 --> 00:45:31,520 could you erm... 625 00:45:31,560 --> 00:45:34,160 sort of stand as if you were waiting for a bus? 626 00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:37,040 Waiting for a bus? 627 00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:44,400 A number 11, to be precise. 628 00:45:45,560 --> 00:45:48,040 Do you think you could be more natural? 629 00:45:48,120 --> 00:45:50,480 Natural? Me? 630 00:45:56,560 --> 00:45:59,520 He's been standing like that for two hours now. 631 00:45:59,600 --> 00:46:01,720 Why? 632 00:46:01,800 --> 00:46:04,080 In case "they" come. 633 00:46:04,160 --> 00:46:06,880 Last night, he stood there all night. 634 00:46:09,280 --> 00:46:11,280 Who are "they"? 635 00:46:23,120 --> 00:46:26,680 Who are "they"? They who might come? 636 00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:30,160 They might. 637 00:46:30,240 --> 00:46:32,560 - Who? The Germans? - No. 638 00:46:32,600 --> 00:46:35,120 Scotland Yard? 639 00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:38,400 Secret Service? Spies? 640 00:46:39,560 --> 00:46:41,520 Spies, perhaps. 641 00:46:42,480 --> 00:46:45,280 To spy on whom? To find out what? 642 00:46:46,040 --> 00:46:48,600 Who would want to spy on you? 643 00:46:48,640 --> 00:46:50,880 They. 644 00:46:50,960 --> 00:46:54,400 Who do you think "they" are? 645 00:46:56,840 --> 00:47:02,680 They... are ideas in my head. 646 00:47:06,480 --> 00:47:09,240 Then let's all sit down, 647 00:47:09,280 --> 00:47:13,960 and we'll have a drink and we'll talk about something else. 648 00:47:19,440 --> 00:47:21,440 Are there microphones in the room? 649 00:47:23,440 --> 00:47:26,840 Who would want to put microphones here? 650 00:47:28,320 --> 00:47:29,840 They would. 651 00:47:29,920 --> 00:47:32,920 My problem was minor in comparison. 652 00:47:32,960 --> 00:47:35,640 After years of quite phenomenal luck... 653 00:47:35,720 --> 00:47:37,680 Excuse me, sir. 654 00:47:40,200 --> 00:47:43,200 - We are police officers. - Oh, yes? 655 00:47:43,240 --> 00:47:45,480 Have you some evidence of your identity? 656 00:47:50,840 --> 00:47:52,760 Are you exempted from the forces, sir? 657 00:47:57,640 --> 00:47:59,800 Exempted... 658 00:47:59,840 --> 00:48:02,120 suffering from sexual perversion. 659 00:48:02,200 --> 00:48:04,280 That's right. 660 00:48:04,360 --> 00:48:06,080 Thank you. 661 00:48:07,480 --> 00:48:09,440 Move along. 662 00:48:10,800 --> 00:48:13,960 20 minutes later, in another part of the forest... 663 00:48:14,040 --> 00:48:17,080 - Quentin, how are you, love? - Hello. 664 00:48:17,120 --> 00:48:19,560 Must get to the theater. Be good. 665 00:48:19,600 --> 00:48:21,560 I'm depressingly good. 666 00:48:22,960 --> 00:48:24,960 Just a minute, you. 667 00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:28,240 - Oh, hello. You, again. - We're taking you in for soliciting. 668 00:48:28,320 --> 00:48:31,080 - For what? - Soliciting for an immoral purpose. 669 00:48:31,200 --> 00:48:32,120 Quick march. 670 00:48:32,200 --> 00:48:36,240 It was an eventuality that I had expected for many a long year. 671 00:48:36,320 --> 00:48:38,120 I can't think why I acted surprised. 672 00:48:38,800 --> 00:48:40,280 Quentin Crisp. 673 00:48:44,200 --> 00:48:47,560 I was assailed by two contrary feelings. 674 00:48:47,640 --> 00:48:50,680 The first was that here was the long awaited situation 675 00:48:50,720 --> 00:48:54,000 which would need all my powers of survival. 676 00:48:54,040 --> 00:48:56,640 The second was that I might easily fall in a dead faint, 677 00:48:56,720 --> 00:48:58,400 and it would be just as well if I did. 678 00:48:58,480 --> 00:49:04,400 Quentin Crisp, you are charged with soliciting for an immoral purpose on September 28th. 679 00:49:04,480 --> 00:49:07,880 in Catherine Street, Russell Street and Tavistock Street. 680 00:49:07,920 --> 00:49:09,920 Do you plead guilty or not guilty? 681 00:49:11,080 --> 00:49:13,760 - Not guilty. - Speak up. I can't hear you. 682 00:49:14,960 --> 00:49:16,720 Not guilty. 683 00:49:16,760 --> 00:49:20,200 - Sit down, Mr Crisp. - Thank you, sir. 684 00:49:21,280 --> 00:49:22,480 I swear by Almighty God, 685 00:49:22,560 --> 00:49:26,000 the evidence I shall give shall be truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. 686 00:49:26,040 --> 00:49:28,400 So help him, God. 687 00:49:28,480 --> 00:49:31,920 On September 28th, I was on plain clothes patrol duty in the West End, 688 00:49:32,000 --> 00:49:34,080 with Detective Constable J Robinson. 689 00:49:34,160 --> 00:49:37,440 At approximately 6pm, in Catherine Street, I saw the accused. 690 00:49:37,520 --> 00:49:40,080 He approached and spoke to a man, who turned away from him, 691 00:49:40,160 --> 00:49:42,840 as if offended, and walked rapidly away. 692 00:49:42,880 --> 00:49:46,560 I then, with Detective Constable Robinson, kept the accused under observation, 693 00:49:46,640 --> 00:49:48,600 at a distance of approximately 15 yards, 694 00:49:48,640 --> 00:49:53,360 while he proceeded into Tavistock Street, Drury Lane and then into Russell Street. 695 00:49:53,440 --> 00:49:57,120 This was from approximately 6pm until approximately 6:20. 696 00:49:57,160 --> 00:49:59,960 During this time, he approached three other male persons, 697 00:50:00,040 --> 00:50:02,080 and spoke or attempted to speak to them. 698 00:50:02,120 --> 00:50:05,000 In each case, after a few words had been spoken on both sides, 699 00:50:05,080 --> 00:50:09,160 the person to whom the accused had been speaking turned and walked away from him, 700 00:50:09,200 --> 00:50:11,440 looking as if disgusted and horrified. 701 00:50:11,520 --> 00:50:13,800 The final occasion I saw this happen 702 00:50:13,880 --> 00:50:18,440 was immediately outside the Fortune Theater in Russell Street at approximately 6:20. 703 00:50:18,520 --> 00:50:23,280 I went up to the accused, informed him of the charge and took him into custody. 704 00:50:23,360 --> 00:50:26,800 One must never say that the police are liars. 705 00:50:26,840 --> 00:50:30,360 Do you wish to ask the officer any questions about his evidence? 706 00:50:30,440 --> 00:50:32,400 Stand up. 707 00:50:35,760 --> 00:50:37,440 Erm... No. 708 00:50:37,520 --> 00:50:40,360 Why don't I wish to question him? 709 00:50:40,440 --> 00:50:44,480 Because you must never say that the police are liars. 710 00:50:44,560 --> 00:50:47,920 At approximately 6pm in Catherine Street, I saw the accused. 711 00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:51,560 He approached and spoke to a man, who turned away from him as if offended. 712 00:50:51,640 --> 00:50:56,080 14 years ago I ceased to be a homosexual prostitute. 713 00:50:56,120 --> 00:50:59,400 Of my own accord I threw off the burden of homosexuality 714 00:50:59,480 --> 00:51:01,680 by transforming it into a cause. 715 00:51:01,720 --> 00:51:06,200 I decided to make the problem clear by making it evident. 716 00:51:06,280 --> 00:51:11,240 I must now do something publicly to fight for that cause. 717 00:51:11,320 --> 00:51:13,560 .. looking disgusted and horrified. 718 00:51:13,600 --> 00:51:15,760 The final occasion on which I saw this happen 719 00:51:15,800 --> 00:51:20,560 was immediately outside the Fortune Theater in Russell Street at approximately 6:20pm. 720 00:51:20,600 --> 00:51:25,000 I then went up to the accused, informed him of the charge and took him into custody. 721 00:51:25,080 --> 00:51:27,200 Have you anything to say, Mr. Crisp? 722 00:51:30,080 --> 00:51:31,160 Yes. 723 00:51:31,200 --> 00:51:34,120 You may say what you have to say from where you are. 724 00:51:34,200 --> 00:51:37,040 Or if you wish, you may go into the witness box, 725 00:51:37,120 --> 00:51:39,720 in which case, you will be put to oath. 726 00:51:39,800 --> 00:51:41,920 Now, which do you prefer? 727 00:51:42,000 --> 00:51:46,880 Well, I can't possibly play my big scene with my back to the audience. 728 00:51:47,800 --> 00:51:49,480 The witness box, please. 729 00:51:59,240 --> 00:52:00,920 Take the book in your right hand and... 730 00:52:01,000 --> 00:52:04,200 I swear by Almighty God, the evidence I shall give shall be the truth, 731 00:52:04,280 --> 00:52:06,920 the whole truth and nothing but the truth. 732 00:52:06,960 --> 00:52:09,560 - Full name? - Quentin Crisp. 733 00:52:09,640 --> 00:52:13,960 Quentin. You are a male person, I presume? 734 00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:17,440 - Yes. - Your address? Full address? 735 00:52:17,520 --> 00:52:20,840 97 Bewley Street, London SW3, England. 736 00:52:21,880 --> 00:52:25,440 Do you deny the facts, as given in evidence by the two police officers? 737 00:52:25,520 --> 00:52:28,800 - Yes. - Are you saying that the police are liars? 738 00:52:28,880 --> 00:52:31,680 - No. - What are you saying, then? 739 00:52:31,760 --> 00:52:34,360 I am saying that I think they were mistaken. 740 00:52:34,440 --> 00:52:38,120 Do you deny that you were in the places mentioned, at the times mentioned? 741 00:52:38,200 --> 00:52:41,840 Oh, not at all, no. I was definitely in Catherine Street at six o'clock. 742 00:52:41,920 --> 00:52:43,480 I remember this particularly, 743 00:52:43,520 --> 00:52:46,480 because it was then that the two gentlemen who later arrested me 744 00:52:46,560 --> 00:52:48,920 came up and spoke to me for the first time. 745 00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:51,320 - They what? - They asked to see my papers. 746 00:52:51,400 --> 00:52:56,040 I showed them my exemption papers, which say that I am suffering from sexual perversion. 747 00:52:57,160 --> 00:53:00,480 - Is this true? - Yes, sir. 748 00:53:00,520 --> 00:53:03,320 It is certainly true that I am a sexual pervert, 749 00:53:03,360 --> 00:53:06,400 but I've never been quite sure about the word "suffering". 750 00:53:07,680 --> 00:53:10,240 You are a sexual pervert? 751 00:53:10,320 --> 00:53:13,440 - Yes. - You are attracted to men and not to women? 752 00:53:13,520 --> 00:53:15,920 - Yes. - You go to bed with men? 753 00:53:15,960 --> 00:53:18,440 I have done, sometimes, yes. 754 00:53:18,520 --> 00:53:20,720 Do you deny that you spoke to men in the street? 755 00:53:20,760 --> 00:53:26,320 I deny that I approached anyone or that I spoke to anyone before he spoke to me. 756 00:53:26,400 --> 00:53:30,800 - But you spoke to men? - Only if they demanded some reply. 757 00:53:30,840 --> 00:53:32,800 In Catherine Street? 758 00:53:32,880 --> 00:53:36,000 I don't think I said anything in Catherine Street. 759 00:53:36,080 --> 00:53:39,440 It was there that a man came up to me and said, forgive me, 760 00:53:39,520 --> 00:53:42,840 "You effing pansy, you ought to be locked up." 761 00:53:42,880 --> 00:53:47,320 And I didn't reply, because this really didn't seem to demand any reply. 762 00:53:47,400 --> 00:53:49,520 And in Tavistock Street? 763 00:53:49,600 --> 00:53:54,720 I think it was in Tavistock Street that a man came up to me and pushed me in the chest, 764 00:53:54,760 --> 00:53:56,720 but I can't be absolutely sure. 765 00:53:56,760 --> 00:53:59,640 - Why not? - That sort of thing happens to me all the time. 766 00:53:59,720 --> 00:54:05,800 Mr. Crisp, are you saying that the police officers misinterpreted what they saw? 767 00:54:05,880 --> 00:54:10,120 I am saying that they made a very natural mistake. 768 00:54:10,160 --> 00:54:12,960 They had seen from my papers that I was homosexual. 769 00:54:13,040 --> 00:54:17,160 Good heavens, they could have told from my appearance, as you can now. 770 00:54:17,200 --> 00:54:20,160 They were watching me from 15 yards or so, 771 00:54:20,200 --> 00:54:23,000 when I had these brief exchanges with various men. 772 00:54:23,080 --> 00:54:25,920 And it may well have seemed, from a distance... 773 00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:32,000 But you are saying, on oath, that in no case did you make the first approach. 774 00:54:32,040 --> 00:54:35,160 - My Lord... - No. 775 00:54:35,240 --> 00:54:38,160 I beg your pardon, sir. 776 00:54:38,960 --> 00:54:41,880 Sir, look at me. 777 00:54:41,960 --> 00:54:47,120 I wear lipstick, I wear rouge, I wear mascara on my eye lashes. 778 00:54:47,200 --> 00:54:52,680 I dye my hair, I wear flamboyant clothes, far more outre than those I'm wearing now. 779 00:54:53,600 --> 00:54:58,880 I am a self-evident, self-professed, effeminate homosexual, 780 00:54:58,920 --> 00:55:01,400 for all the world to see. 781 00:55:02,520 --> 00:55:08,360 How could I hope to solicit anybody in broad daylight, in a crowded London street, 782 00:55:08,440 --> 00:55:10,200 looking as I do? 783 00:55:10,280 --> 00:55:13,240 What would I expect, but a curse and a blow? 784 00:55:17,720 --> 00:55:23,560 No, my appearance sets me apart from the rest of humanity. 785 00:55:24,280 --> 00:55:27,440 It is not easy for me to make human contacts. 786 00:55:27,520 --> 00:55:30,240 With strangers, it is almost impossible. 787 00:55:31,600 --> 00:55:35,920 I learned, many years ago, the golden rule of my life. 788 00:55:36,600 --> 00:55:40,680 In public places I do not speak to anyone unless they speak to me. 789 00:55:40,760 --> 00:55:45,280 I do not look at anyone unless they demand that I look at them. 790 00:55:47,080 --> 00:55:52,440 It is the only way I know of getting safely to my destination. 791 00:55:53,920 --> 00:55:57,840 - Have you anything else to say, Mr. Crisp? - Yes. 792 00:55:57,920 --> 00:56:02,320 I have never refrained from any course of action 793 00:56:02,400 --> 00:56:05,160 on the ground that it was illegal or immoral. 794 00:56:05,200 --> 00:56:10,680 But I no longer ask strange men for money because I do not think that I would get it. 795 00:56:12,560 --> 00:56:19,160 Perhaps... Perhaps my very existence is a form of importuning. 796 00:56:20,080 --> 00:56:23,880 Otherwise, I am not guilty as charged. 797 00:56:26,840 --> 00:56:28,600 Thank you. 798 00:56:28,680 --> 00:56:30,280 Please return to the dock. 799 00:56:33,560 --> 00:56:38,200 Well, I flatter myself London has not seen a performance like that 800 00:56:38,240 --> 00:56:40,920 since Sybil Thorndike's St. Joan. 801 00:56:42,240 --> 00:56:44,040 Do you know he is a homosexual? 802 00:56:45,440 --> 00:56:46,920 Yes. 803 00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:50,360 - And yet you say he is a friend of yours? - Yes. 804 00:56:52,440 --> 00:56:55,520 - Do you know he is a homosexual? - Yes. 805 00:56:55,600 --> 00:56:59,400 - And yet you describe him as "respectable"? - Yes. 806 00:57:00,480 --> 00:57:03,840 - Do you know he is a homosexual? - Yes. 807 00:57:03,920 --> 00:57:06,880 And yet you call him "a good man"? 808 00:57:06,920 --> 00:57:09,920 - Yes. - Thank you. 809 00:57:11,440 --> 00:57:12,960 - Mr. Crisp. - Stand up. 810 00:57:14,680 --> 00:57:18,000 Have you any other witnesses to character? 811 00:57:18,600 --> 00:57:20,880 About ten, I think. 812 00:57:20,960 --> 00:57:23,960 I am tired of this recital of your praises. 813 00:57:24,040 --> 00:57:26,480 There is insufficient evidence to convict. 814 00:57:26,560 --> 00:57:30,400 By which he means the police are liars. 815 00:57:30,480 --> 00:57:31,560 Case dismissed. 816 00:57:54,120 --> 00:57:55,720 You look terrible. 817 00:58:07,640 --> 00:58:10,560 Exhibitionism is indeed a drug. 818 00:58:10,640 --> 00:58:14,360 Hooked in adolescence, I was now taking doses so massive 819 00:58:14,400 --> 00:58:16,360 they would have killed a beginner. 820 00:58:17,480 --> 00:58:19,520 Darling, are you coming to the party? 821 00:58:20,760 --> 00:58:23,720 - I suppose so. - Come in, Ricky. 822 00:58:23,800 --> 00:58:29,280 I brought him for you. He's a bit small, but they are getting difficult to find. 823 00:58:30,400 --> 00:58:32,760 Oh, it's very sweet of you, darling, but... 824 00:58:33,440 --> 00:58:36,800 I do think, not at the moment. 825 00:58:37,680 --> 00:58:40,640 Fate held something worse in store. 826 00:58:40,720 --> 00:58:45,640 Into the Cuzco of the layabout civilization came a man the size of a barn door, 827 00:58:45,720 --> 00:58:48,040 and as easily pushed to and fro. 828 00:58:48,080 --> 00:58:51,680 - Is this taken? - No. 829 00:58:52,880 --> 00:58:54,880 Mind if I...? 830 00:58:58,120 --> 00:59:00,120 Please do. 831 00:59:01,840 --> 00:59:06,280 He was a great, dark thing from outer space. 832 00:59:26,480 --> 00:59:28,440 Breakfast? 833 00:59:30,000 --> 00:59:32,360 - What? - Would you like some breakfast? 834 00:59:33,560 --> 00:59:35,520 Oh, right. 835 00:59:35,600 --> 00:59:37,520 - Thanks. - Right. 836 00:59:37,600 --> 00:59:40,760 I put him up for a night, which lasted a weekend, 837 00:59:40,840 --> 00:59:44,240 for three long, dark years. 838 00:59:57,400 --> 01:00:00,040 Oh, that's nice. That's very nice. 839 01:00:00,120 --> 01:00:03,920 - I'm glad. - Yeah, they do a nice job at that laundry. 840 01:00:03,960 --> 01:00:06,480 - You tell 'em. - Yes, I will. 841 01:00:09,480 --> 01:00:11,520 What are you making for supper, then? 842 01:00:11,560 --> 01:00:13,840 - Stew? - Irish? 843 01:00:13,920 --> 01:00:15,880 It's sort of Hibernian. 844 01:00:15,960 --> 01:00:17,960 You put them vegetables in I brought? 845 01:00:18,040 --> 01:00:21,760 My only notion of cooking is to put everything in and stir it. 846 01:00:22,640 --> 01:00:25,160 I don't know, you do all right. 847 01:00:25,200 --> 01:00:27,200 Thank you. 848 01:00:29,080 --> 01:00:31,040 Do you like this shirt? 849 01:00:31,120 --> 01:00:34,880 Think the color suits me? Do you think it makes me look nice? 850 01:00:34,960 --> 01:00:38,320 Yes. Yes, it makes you look very nice. 851 01:00:38,400 --> 01:00:41,280 - Did I show you what I bought today? - No, you didn't. 852 01:00:46,880 --> 01:00:49,920 French beret. Makes a change from the old cap, eh? 853 01:00:54,240 --> 01:00:56,800 - Do I look like a Frenchman? - Yes. 854 01:00:56,880 --> 01:00:58,840 Yes, you do, somewhat. 855 01:00:59,760 --> 01:01:03,960 856 01:01:04,040 --> 01:01:07,920 857 01:01:11,720 --> 01:01:15,040 858 01:01:16,840 --> 01:01:19,960 - I ought to go on the stage. - Why not? 859 01:01:25,480 --> 01:01:28,200 'Ere. Quent! 860 01:01:28,240 --> 01:01:31,560 - Hmm? - You ought to clean up. This place is filthy. 861 01:01:31,600 --> 01:01:34,520 I have discovered a great labor-saving secret. 862 01:01:34,600 --> 01:01:38,000 After the first four years, the dust doesn't get any worse. 863 01:01:38,760 --> 01:01:43,840 Yeah? Well, I reckon you ought to clean up. It's not nice. 864 01:01:43,920 --> 01:01:47,920 - Perhaps I'm not nice. - I want our neighbors to respect you. 865 01:01:48,680 --> 01:01:51,160 The job is done. They're terrified. 866 01:01:54,320 --> 01:01:56,320 As far as I know, this is ready. 867 01:02:01,040 --> 01:02:03,320 - Hey, Quent? - Mm-hm? 868 01:02:03,400 --> 01:02:07,160 I've been thinking about it. I don't like you sleeping on the floor. 869 01:02:08,560 --> 01:02:11,960 - I don't mind it. - Well, I think you ought to sleep in the bed. 870 01:02:14,920 --> 01:02:16,200 With me. 871 01:02:19,640 --> 01:02:21,400 Know what I mean? 872 01:02:21,440 --> 01:02:23,320 If you like. 873 01:02:25,400 --> 01:02:26,560 Yeah. 874 01:02:26,600 --> 01:02:30,480 The sex was all right, in a domestic sort of way. 875 01:02:30,560 --> 01:02:35,120 But never share a narrow double bed with a wide single man. 876 01:02:39,320 --> 01:02:42,640 877 01:02:42,720 --> 01:02:47,280 878 01:02:47,360 --> 01:02:52,680 879 01:02:52,720 --> 01:02:57,080 880 01:03:02,720 --> 01:03:06,720 - I ought to have been in opera. - I think you could have done very well. 881 01:03:07,560 --> 01:03:11,040 Hey, do you think I ought to have been in opera? 882 01:03:11,120 --> 01:03:12,720 Do you think I've got a good voice? 883 01:03:12,800 --> 01:03:15,000 Mr. Crisp does. 884 01:03:15,080 --> 01:03:17,040 Give us your hand. 885 01:03:20,320 --> 01:03:23,400 Mr. Crisp and me have been together for two years now. 886 01:03:24,640 --> 01:03:26,160 Fact. 887 01:03:28,240 --> 01:03:30,200 - Hey, Quent? - Mm-hm? 888 01:03:32,040 --> 01:03:34,120 This going to bed together. 889 01:03:34,200 --> 01:03:36,160 Yes? 890 01:03:37,080 --> 01:03:39,400 Let's pack it in. 891 01:03:40,400 --> 01:03:42,520 If you like. 892 01:03:44,000 --> 01:03:47,160 How marvelous for you to be here again! 893 01:03:48,320 --> 01:03:50,280 I shall... 894 01:03:53,760 --> 01:03:57,400 No, I shan't. I can't do it any longer. 895 01:04:01,880 --> 01:04:04,040 Quentin, I am worried about you. 896 01:04:04,120 --> 01:04:06,880 All my friends are constantly in that state. 897 01:04:06,920 --> 01:04:10,360 But I don't understand your relationship with him. 898 01:04:11,280 --> 01:04:13,680 He is a poor, wee thing. 899 01:04:13,760 --> 01:04:18,920 I fed him because he was hungry and I housed him because he had nowhere to go. 900 01:04:18,960 --> 01:04:20,960 But that's compassion. 901 01:04:21,000 --> 01:04:23,520 - Oh, I see. Is it? - Isn't it? 902 01:04:23,600 --> 01:04:25,560 I've yet to be informed. 903 01:04:25,600 --> 01:04:29,920 Because all the love that I have ever known is that I wish people well, 904 01:04:30,000 --> 01:04:33,280 and that occasionally, I actually give them half a crown. 905 01:04:33,360 --> 01:04:36,720 Or what they need - advice, a bath, a bed. 906 01:04:36,800 --> 01:04:39,640 And he, poor, wee thing, needed a kingdom. 907 01:04:39,680 --> 01:04:43,360 He'd never known a world in which he had the upper hand. 908 01:04:43,440 --> 01:04:46,800 - I gave him a kingdom. - But your relationship? 909 01:04:46,840 --> 01:04:49,080 He wanted sex, I obeyed. 910 01:04:49,120 --> 01:04:51,480 He wanted to stop, I obeyed. 911 01:04:53,280 --> 01:04:55,920 But does he love you? 912 01:04:56,000 --> 01:04:59,920 You are a woman. You speak a language that I do not understand. 913 01:05:00,000 --> 01:05:03,160 If love exists, which is something that I wouldn't know, 914 01:05:03,240 --> 01:05:08,120 then love is never closing my hand, not even to the unlovable. 915 01:05:09,200 --> 01:05:13,200 I thought perhaps he was your great, dark man. 916 01:05:14,280 --> 01:05:17,960 There is no great, dark man. 917 01:05:20,160 --> 01:05:24,960 May I utter that universal truth more loudly here, 918 01:05:25,040 --> 01:05:27,440 where the echoes are so marvelous? 919 01:05:35,080 --> 01:05:37,240 I leave for France on Tuesday. 920 01:05:39,560 --> 01:05:43,920 - I always thought you'd become a nun. - Why? 921 01:05:44,000 --> 01:05:45,880 Because you hate the world. 922 01:05:45,960 --> 01:05:48,000 I have never been a member of it. 923 01:05:49,840 --> 01:05:51,800 Will you go and see him? 924 01:05:53,920 --> 01:05:55,680 If you like. 925 01:05:55,720 --> 01:05:59,520 I've been every Sunday. You needn't go incessantly. 926 01:05:59,560 --> 01:06:01,960 But you must go. 927 01:06:02,040 --> 01:06:04,440 If I can't come every weekend, that's it, isn't it? 928 01:06:04,520 --> 01:06:07,600 I shall be delighted to see you whenever it's possible. 929 01:06:07,680 --> 01:06:12,080 - No, you won't. - I told you, I have to see a friend. 930 01:06:12,160 --> 01:06:13,320 An old friend. 931 01:06:13,720 --> 01:06:17,120 Yeah, that's what you say. But that's not the truth. 932 01:06:17,160 --> 01:06:22,160 Alas, that when you bite into a soft center, you can't put it back in the box. 933 01:06:22,200 --> 01:06:26,000 Please do come again, though it can't be so often. 934 01:06:26,040 --> 01:06:28,000 No! 935 01:06:29,560 --> 01:06:31,520 Just as you wish. 936 01:06:34,920 --> 01:06:36,880 Going to see a madman. 937 01:06:37,800 --> 01:06:43,040 You're not well, Quent. You're not right. You're a bit sick, you know. 938 01:06:43,080 --> 01:06:47,200 Hell consists of having the same diseases as one's neighbors. 939 01:06:48,360 --> 01:06:49,920 Thank you. 940 01:06:55,200 --> 01:06:57,280 What am I doing here? 941 01:06:57,360 --> 01:07:00,560 In loving mummery of a woman who is a nun, 942 01:07:00,640 --> 01:07:03,120 and therefore is as if already dead. 943 01:07:03,200 --> 01:07:05,760 I never liked him much, even when he was sane. 944 01:07:06,560 --> 01:07:10,880 Perhaps he is... unlovable. 945 01:07:12,320 --> 01:07:16,640 Quentin! My dear friend, Quentin! 946 01:07:16,720 --> 01:07:18,480 Hello. 947 01:07:19,360 --> 01:07:22,440 You have come. At last, you have come. 948 01:07:22,520 --> 01:07:26,760 - Yes. - Tea. You will have tea with me. 949 01:07:26,800 --> 01:07:31,200 - Yes, shall I get it? - Oh, no, no. Here you are chez moi. 950 01:07:31,240 --> 01:07:34,680 It will be my treat, as in the good old days. 951 01:07:45,720 --> 01:07:48,560 Beautiful sandwiches. They make them with fresh bread. 952 01:07:48,640 --> 01:07:52,040 He looks better, you know. He looks better since he's been here. 953 01:07:56,840 --> 01:07:59,720 There. Help yourself. 954 01:08:01,480 --> 01:08:04,240 Did she say that I'd be coming? 955 01:08:04,320 --> 01:08:07,160 Oh, yes. If it was she. 956 01:08:07,240 --> 01:08:09,760 - If? - She put me here, you know. 957 01:08:09,840 --> 01:08:11,840 - Yes. - That was unforgivable. 958 01:08:11,920 --> 01:08:15,760 - Oh, we all thought it would be for the best. - The woman I loved. 959 01:08:15,840 --> 01:08:17,800 She betrayed me. 960 01:08:17,880 --> 01:08:22,000 - She came to see you every weekend. - If it was she. 961 01:08:25,160 --> 01:08:27,600 Who's the third cup for? 962 01:08:33,880 --> 01:08:37,560 This place is an absolute madhouse. 963 01:08:42,240 --> 01:08:46,200 Two hours to get here, two hours of this. 964 01:08:46,240 --> 01:08:48,840 Two hours to get back. 965 01:08:48,880 --> 01:08:51,160 I have a present for you. 966 01:08:51,240 --> 01:08:53,120 Oh, you shouldn't have. 967 01:08:53,200 --> 01:08:54,960 Yes, for you! Open it. 968 01:08:57,440 --> 01:08:59,600 I took them from the orchard here, 969 01:08:59,680 --> 01:09:02,400 when, for a moment, they were not watching. 970 01:09:04,320 --> 01:09:08,000 - Why, that's very kind of you. - They will do you good. 971 01:09:08,080 --> 01:09:11,120 You must take care of yourself, Quentin. 972 01:09:11,200 --> 01:09:12,840 You are looking old. 973 01:09:14,360 --> 01:09:17,120 My dentist, a dear friend, said, 974 01:09:17,160 --> 01:09:21,160 "It's not your teeth that are decaying, it's you." 975 01:09:22,240 --> 01:09:26,240 It was 1948. I was 40. 976 01:09:26,680 --> 01:09:29,120 "You're looking old." 977 01:09:31,360 --> 01:09:34,360 Looking old, because growing old. 978 01:09:41,320 --> 01:09:45,920 Loyally, my students didn't mind, red, white or blue. 979 01:09:51,040 --> 01:09:53,480 Quentin, my friend! 980 01:09:54,480 --> 01:09:56,960 But you look marvelous! 981 01:09:58,120 --> 01:10:00,120 Thank you. 982 01:10:03,520 --> 01:10:06,920 You like it? It makes me look young, eh? 983 01:10:07,840 --> 01:10:10,120 I am more desirable. 984 01:10:10,160 --> 01:10:12,600 Erm... Yes. How do you... 985 01:10:12,680 --> 01:10:17,320 Cod liver oil. I rub it into my scalp all day long. 986 01:10:18,400 --> 01:10:20,960 Tea. You will have tea. 987 01:10:21,040 --> 01:10:24,640 I went on visiting him for eight years. 988 01:10:24,720 --> 01:10:27,200 After eight years, he was allowed to visit me. 989 01:10:29,040 --> 01:10:31,080 Come in. 990 01:10:34,360 --> 01:10:39,640 - Quentin! - Hello. How lovely to see you. 991 01:10:39,720 --> 01:10:42,280 Take your coat off. I'm just making the tea. 992 01:10:42,360 --> 01:10:46,040 - How are you? - I have brought you presents. 993 01:10:46,120 --> 01:10:49,600 - Many presents. - You shouldn't have. 994 01:10:49,640 --> 01:10:53,560 Oh, I've brought you... You cannot guess what I have brought you. 995 01:10:54,200 --> 01:10:57,360 I have brought you some apples... 996 01:11:00,480 --> 01:11:01,760 some chocolate... 997 01:11:03,680 --> 01:11:05,880 a meat pie... 998 01:11:05,920 --> 01:11:08,720 and a bottle of British sherry. 999 01:11:08,800 --> 01:11:11,080 How lovely. 1000 01:11:11,120 --> 01:11:12,800 For you, Quentin, 1001 01:11:12,880 --> 01:11:15,280 because I love you. 1002 01:11:17,600 --> 01:11:22,680 You are the only person in the world that I love. 1003 01:11:22,760 --> 01:11:25,480 The kettle! 1004 01:11:27,640 --> 01:11:30,400 I'm nearly 50. 1005 01:11:30,480 --> 01:11:32,600 He must be 70. 1006 01:11:33,680 --> 01:11:36,440 I must remain perfectly calm. 1007 01:11:39,640 --> 01:11:42,600 Why don't you sit down and have a cup of tea? 1008 01:11:44,040 --> 01:11:47,640 Quentin, my love! 1009 01:11:47,680 --> 01:11:50,280 My darling. 1010 01:11:51,680 --> 01:11:55,280 He was not sexless, but he was impotent. 1011 01:11:55,320 --> 01:11:57,040 There was little he could do, 1012 01:11:57,080 --> 01:11:59,080 He did what little he could. 1013 01:12:01,120 --> 01:12:03,920 This was the measure of his loneliness. 1014 01:12:04,000 --> 01:12:06,720 I was the limit of his degradation. 1015 01:12:08,040 --> 01:12:12,200 The nun returned to us for one last glimpse of the past. 1016 01:12:12,280 --> 01:12:14,760 - Cheers, darling. - Cheers. 1017 01:12:16,760 --> 01:12:20,360 - How is it there? - Every moment has been agony. 1018 01:12:20,440 --> 01:12:23,000 But I couldn't have done otherwise. 1019 01:12:23,960 --> 01:12:26,400 The story of our lives. 1020 01:12:27,480 --> 01:12:29,480 Some of our lives. 1021 01:12:30,320 --> 01:12:34,800 She, at least, was safe in the loving bosom of Lord Alcohol. 1022 01:12:34,840 --> 01:12:39,440 She was still seeking mad, passionate, romantic love. 1023 01:12:39,520 --> 01:12:41,440 In vain. 1024 01:12:41,520 --> 01:12:45,400 It was one of the Pole's last visits to London. 1025 01:12:45,440 --> 01:12:47,840 He hanged himself in his mental home 1026 01:12:47,920 --> 01:12:50,920 when, for a moment, "they" were not watching. 1027 01:12:52,200 --> 01:12:54,280 As for myself... 1028 01:12:54,360 --> 01:12:58,760 Well, even a marriage with oneself may not last forever. 1029 01:13:03,760 --> 01:13:06,200 I am not merely a stopped clock. 1030 01:13:06,280 --> 01:13:08,600 I am a stopped grandfather clock. 1031 01:13:09,320 --> 01:13:14,080 The symbols I adopted 40 years ago to express my sexual type 1032 01:13:14,120 --> 01:13:17,120 have become the uniform of all young people. 1033 01:13:18,600 --> 01:13:23,200 I have survived. I have had some happy times. 1034 01:13:24,000 --> 01:13:27,200 There was one night when I was totally happy. 1035 01:13:28,200 --> 01:13:32,000 For some reason, I had to spend the night in Portsmouth. 1036 01:13:32,520 --> 01:13:38,440 I went for a walk on the front and I was immediately surrounded by sailors. 1037 01:13:38,560 --> 01:13:40,520 - Hello! - Where are you going? 1038 01:13:40,600 --> 01:13:44,040 Come with us and have a drink. We're going to the Queen's Arms. 1039 01:13:44,080 --> 01:13:46,640 - Very sweet of you. - Well, we are sweet, aren't we? 1040 01:13:46,680 --> 01:13:50,080 - Oh, I should say so! - Yes, you are. 1041 01:13:50,120 --> 01:13:53,680 - I think you're all terribly sweet. - Ooh! 1042 01:13:53,720 --> 01:13:57,480 He doesn't want the Queen's Arms. He wants the Jolly Jack Tar! 1043 01:13:57,560 --> 01:13:59,440 The old Jack Tar, eh! 1044 01:13:59,520 --> 01:14:02,520 - Oh, is that a nicer place? - You wait! 1045 01:14:02,600 --> 01:14:05,360 Well, when you get in the Jolly Jack Tar... 1046 01:14:05,440 --> 01:14:07,400 .. you'll have the time of your life! 1047 01:14:07,480 --> 01:14:09,440 And when he gets in you...! 1048 01:14:09,520 --> 01:14:11,760 Oh, it's not a pub. 1049 01:14:11,840 --> 01:14:13,800 You meant something else. 1050 01:14:13,880 --> 01:14:20,080 It was the first, last and only time that I have ever been in a crowd of people 1051 01:14:20,160 --> 01:14:22,840 where I was the centre of attention 1052 01:14:22,920 --> 01:14:25,440 without feeling that I was in danger. 1053 01:14:25,520 --> 01:14:28,400 - Do you fancy one of us, then? - Which one of us do you fancy? 1054 01:14:28,480 --> 01:14:31,880 Oh, I think you're all so incredibly attractive. 1055 01:14:31,960 --> 01:14:33,720 Oh, go on! 1056 01:14:33,800 --> 01:14:37,400 Nothing sexual happened. Nothing was going to happen. 1057 01:14:37,440 --> 01:14:41,360 It was what I have always longed for and never elsewhere found. 1058 01:14:41,440 --> 01:14:45,640 A flirtation, an evening's entertainment. 1059 01:15:04,320 --> 01:15:08,960 Hey, mister! Me and my mates, we been watching you. You're a poof, ain't ya? 1060 01:15:09,040 --> 01:15:12,280 Queer baiters are getting younger these days. 1061 01:15:12,320 --> 01:15:15,080 See that copper over there? If you don't give us a quid each, 1062 01:15:15,120 --> 01:15:17,840 I'm gonna tell him you've been fiddling with these two. 1063 01:15:17,920 --> 01:15:20,520 I defy you to do your worst. 1064 01:15:20,560 --> 01:15:25,200 It can hardly be my worst. Mine has already and often happened to me. 1065 01:15:25,280 --> 01:15:27,160 You cannot touch me now. 1066 01:15:27,200 --> 01:15:30,080 I am one of the stately homos of England. 1067 01:15:33,120 --> 01:15:37,080 Never looking at anyone unless they demand that I look. 1068 01:15:37,160 --> 01:15:39,920 Never speaking unless spoken to.